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To know that I can still be deserving of someone else's affections even with all that is going on in my life. She knows that I still can not push thoughts of him from my mind and yet, she accepts it and still presses on with me. She continues to come visit me, stay with me, talk to me like young lovers should and there is never any question of her feelings towards me. She isn't torn between two people. It's just me that she cares for and wishes to give her attention to. It's a nice feeling to have and it is an amazing thing to see, inspiring even, but I often worry that I am hurting her in the same way that he hurt me.I try to eradicate him from my thoughts, I really do, but it is not easy and I feel like a terrible, inadequate person because I have not found the strength to accomplish it. Especially as it complicates certain aspects of my relationship with Darci, like sex, for example. There have been times where it is not her I think of and it is not her name that I wish to call. Something grabbed my legs and effortlessly lifted me into the air. I felt the hand of God strike my ass. I cried out as loud as I could. Ok, I may not have been the best of people in life, but for heaven's sake, I didn't expect to be spanked as I was being held upside down in midair. Then a hand came under my head and shoulders, and someone was holding me.I heard a male voice say, "Congratulations! It's a bouncing baby boy."'Ok, ' I thought. 'I should have paid more attention to the theory of reincarnation. Looks like I am going to get my chance to be a better person in another life. I opened my eyes as I was laid in my new mother's arms. I closed them again; really, really quickly! It was way too bright. I did get a glimpse of a woman that looked just like my mother when I was younger. Damn, my mind thought, I wonder what this means.Then I heard her say, "Hello, little Timmy."That's when it suddenly dawned upon me! This was my mom, my original mom! That's my real name, but how could.
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