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Stop blaming and demonizing her, and look at what you and your partner can do to repair the relationship.3. Choosing a married man can be safer than having a real relationship.Married men can bring to the table attention, passion, time, experience, and create a bubble of erotic and emotional pleasure without the daily grind of household management, c***d raising and checkbook balancing.Some women who have been in bad relationships don't want a commitment. The woman gets the appreciation and attention they crave while knowing the man could leave at a tip of a hat. Many women are not looking to 'steal' your man. They are looking for a thrill, for connection, for pleasure, and if he can give it to her, she'll take it. The chance your man will leave you for her is slim, and it is even slimmer still for that relationship to last.Some women prefer to compartmentalize their real life from their erotic life; having an affair with a married men makes this compartmentalization easy. They don't. But, I think we see it represented most viciously here in porn. We see women humiliated, bound, gagged, and consistently disrespected. We see them used and abused. We watch them treated as nothing more than wanting holes for the purpose of relieving unrestrained and out-of-control carnal desire. We consider whether she approves of this, or even enjoys it. Perhaps she is willfully playing the part. Perhaps, you think, because of some combination of vanity and arousal, she eagerly volunteers to be beaten and humiliated for your pleasure. But if you believe that, you do not know who she is. She volunteers to be beaten not to stimulate your fleeting and involuntary lusts, but because there is no limit to the desperation in her heart for your love and respect. If in your blind, indiscriminate stupor of arousal you cannot see her for who she is, you do not deserve her sublime and sacred beauty, much less her cooperation. And yet in her cooperation she screams loudest, exposing the depths.
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