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So welcome to a family filled with practical jokers. I would advise you to check your luggage before you leave for your honeymoon tomorrow – who knows what precious keepsake someone has hidden in there for you." Now, having dispensed with topic number one, onto Will."Here we go, I thought. What embarrassing stories has he got about me?"You probably didn't know it, but Will originally made a huge hit on the opposite sex," he said. "That started when he was just a wee lad, not even four years old. He was playing with a young girl, a daughter of some distant relatives, on the front balcony at the house at Mona Vale. Apparently she wanted the tennis ball that Will was playing with, but Will didn't want to share his ball with her, so she pushed him off the balcony, about eight feet to the concrete path below, breaking his leg in several places." Don't worry Heather," a voice from the back of the crowd called out. "I'm sure Will will let you play with his balls."Everyone laughed – I. Mr Lucas the solicitor put in an appearance but apart from him I was the only mourner unconnected with Albert’s employer. Even my precious Wendy let me down. She had booked the day off but on Friday one of her colleagues had kindly gone sick and left her with some emergency to cope with (she worked at the head office of a big retailer). So I was left to make small talk with a smattering of Albert’s scientific colleagues and a couple of management types. We kept the formalities brief. Someone from the company made a short speech about Albert’s brilliance and unwavering dedication to scientific truth, then I followed with some suitably lapidary remarks recalling his disdain for wealth and fame and praising his single-minded commitment to his goal in life (fortunately no one asked me to specify what this might have been). The whole ceremony was uncompromisingly secular. Albert had never said anything about religion, but somehow we all knew he would have wanted God kept out of it. The.
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