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"And we all know how much you love to hear yourself talk," I zinged.The insult didn't even register on Chuck's face as he continued talking."It's the classic conundrum. Do I go for the T or the A?" You're so pathetic," Bruce muttered in disdain."That's easy for you to say!" Chuck exclaimed. "You've got that Haileychick fawning over you. God is she hot."Bruce shuddered. "She just won't leave me alone. I keep telling her I'mnot interested."Chuck blinked a couple of times before shaking his head. "Sometimes, Iwonder if you're gay. Not that that's a problem. It would just explaina lot." I'm not gay. I just don't like it when girls are all clingy likethat," Bruce responded. "I need my space." And with those four words, he has half the girls in school desperatelyin heat for him," I half-joked. It was only half a joke because Brucereally was popular with the girls at our middle school. He had the badboy thing down perfectly. He was handsome. He played guitar. Heshowed no. I am totally thrown off guard by this. I ask him to explain further about this submissive nature he sees in me and the idea of a Master. Before explaining, he asked if I have ever been with a black man. I told him that I have always had this fantasy of being with a man like himself, but have never put myself in a position to fulfill that fantasy. I have always been afraid, yet drawn to black men. When I am close to them my insides turn upside down. I can’t breathe and my heart feels like it is going to explode. My body goes limp and I lose all sense of where I am. He asks if I would let him fulfill that fantasy. I hesitate and then I hear myself say “Yes”. Oh what have I done? I have never been unfaithful to my husband, but he has not even entered my thoughts since we left park. I have already been disloyal to him. We leave the café and begin walking back to the parking lot by the park. He asked if I would join him for the rest of the evening. I accept without any.
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