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Your fingers instinctively begin to rub my spot faster and with more force as your palm presses down more into my mound. My moans are coming more frequently now, getting louder, and my breathing has increased its pace. I try to continue kissing you, but you have pulled away a bit so that you can watch my face. My eyes flutter open a bit, and I see you looking at me, watching me intently. My eyes fix on yours as my body continues to respond to your touch. You smile lightly at me, and then I see a fire in your eyes. There are so many things to be read in that look. I try to keep my eyes focused on you, but you’ve taken your ministrations to another level and I can do nothing but throw my head back and cry out as you bring me to my first tidal wave. You keep your pace, never slowing down, bringing another wave and yet another to wash throughout my being. I can take no more, and half moaning, half giggling, I try to stop your hand from continuing on. You remove your fingers from me, but. Then there’s the anxiety that comes from the fallout of the illness. I.E. paying bills with little money. Trying to maintain relationships. Worries about the future and if you have one.Every now and then though, things ease up a bit. You don’t hurt so much. You’re mind is a little clearer and you find a smile on your face. That’s me at the moment. My head hurts and I had to leave work early because I went totally mute. But I’m not shaking and I don’t need my cane and my wife’s not crying or yelling at me. I feel relatively happy. I had a nap and a bowl of chili with some shredded cheese in it.Last night I was a little down and feeling envious which is an emotion I try to avoid like the plague. It’s almost as poisonous as bitterness which will kill your soul. I was envious because there’s all these people who can make choices and I can’t. Oh, I can make the choices, but I don’t have the power to back them up. Simple example: I can decide I want a Little Caesar’s pizza. Oh well, I’m.
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