Submissive Woman

Liz is an adult and needs the same room to grow that I’ve had. I guarantee you I didn’t conform to your ideas of how I should have conducted my life the past three years, but you’ve treated me as an adult, even when I’ve messed up in a big way. I don’t think you’ve done that for Liz.”“Assuming for a moment that all of that is true, and I’m not agreeing it is, but assuming it is, there’s something you know which you aren’t telling me.”“Whether there is or not, and I’m not saying either way, you HAVE to talk to Liz about your concerns, not me. I need her to trust that if, and I mean ‘if’, she comes to me for advice, she can count on me to give it without, in effect, tattling to you and dad.”“And what is it you think might be tattling?”I shook my head, “We’re no longer at that point, Mom. I’m still your son, and I always will be, and you’re my mom, and you always will be, but we’re both adults now. I’m not yours to command, and I’m not using that word in a way that signifies I think you. Not to put too fine a point on it, the whole report was negative and what made it worse was that everything he wrote was partly true.’ ‘What do you mean?’ ‘Taken in the context of the actual situation is was so very wrong, but then he didn’t write it in that context, so what he wrote was correct but the context was wrong. I refused to sign it. I was called into the big boss’s office to explain why I refused to sign. I didn’t want to say that it never happened the way that it was presented so I told him that for that appraisal to have any validity, the incidents would have been discussed with me by my Supervisor and be accompanied by the result of that discussion. If I had rectified the situation then a positive mention should have been included on the report. Similarly, if I had made no attempt to rectify the situation, a negative mention should have been in the report. The fact that this was the first that I knew of these incidents invalidates the whole report. That is why I refused.
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