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“ No, no please stop!” I cry out. “ Well if you don’t like it why are you so wet then? He asks. “ I, I ,I ….. Oh god I don’t know, Please stop I wont do it again!” I beg him even though I really don’t want him to stop. He takes one finger and slips it inside my wet lips and slowly inserts another. He starts finger fucking me faster and faster. With his thumb he is circling my clit harder and harder. I feel my orgasm rising in me when I feel the knife against my inner thigh so close but not cutting enough to draw blood. The pleasure and pain mix. I don’t know whether to cry out in pain or pleasure. “ Oh god… please don’t, please don’t…..stop!” I scream as my orgasm shakes my entire body. I am still in the afterglow of my orgasm when I feel his hard cock against my lips trying to force his way in my mouth. I try to resist but he puts his knife to my throat. “ Open wide.” He tells me. I lift my head and lick his cock from the base to the tip up and down again. Then I take. The list of do's and don’ts were inculcated as part of my culture from the time of attaining puberty. It surely was way too long a list but these were the few I saw my mother abiding by and I too was made to abide by these values. I also saw my mother being physically beaten by my father even on 'mistakes', like excessive salt in food she used when she cooked at home. And when I was a little girl I used to console my mother, but she would tell me it’s the fate ordained by God for Muslim women to be beaten by their husbands. My immature mind could not understand why God had ordained beatings only for the fate of Muslim girls and not Muslim men? After all, males too committed mistakes and that included my brother.Our house comprised of two rooms; one was the bedroom while the other was a sitting/drawing room.I used to share my mother’s bedroom until the age of 9; but once I was given a hijab, I was sent to the other room on the pretext of late night reading. One night, my mother was.
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