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Who knows?The point is, I’m not, but I get accused of being gay all the time.Most of it is either just jealousy from weak-minded guys, or wishful thinking from gay dudes, but it does come up.The funniest example so far is this email I got the other day.What’s really funny to me is when guys say that they KNOW I’m gay.Now, I’ve met some gay dudes that were in the closet, and I actually know at least one right now. I guess if you live in a real conservative place, or if your parents were uptight it could really suck to be gay.I mean really, it could happen to anyone. It’s just a genetic roll of the dice. I’m short and my hair is falling out.Some people are gay. I personally couldn’t care less, and if you’re happy, I’m happy.Don’t try to fuck me, and we can be friends.But I guess since there’s so many people in the closet there’s always going to be a certain amount of people that don’t believe you if you say you’re straight.That’s understandable.I’ve been guilty of it myself. There’s. 'Fish sticks' would turn me into a woman; 'hot dog' would turn me back into a man. I decided to do a little test. "Fish sticks," I said. I waited a couple minutes. Nothing happened. "Oh well, I guess I was wrong." I got dressed again, and left the bathroom. So much for buying ladies' clothes. Mom met me at the door, and she was upset. "Roy, I told you we were gonna buy some food for you this afternoon, and I don't want you running out on me like that! And where did that lady go?" "What lady, Mom?" "The one I met here, a few minutes ago." "Oh, her. She's a new friend of mine. Her name is... Roda." Roda. I liked the sound of that. And yes, it's not Rhoda. I've always been fond of unique spellings. "Say no more, Roy. Is she your new girlfriend?" Girlfriend? Mom had been eager to hook me up and get me married, since I was her only child and thus her only hope to become a grandmother. I'd always resented the way she dominated my life. Actually, don't get me wrong. Mom.
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