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And if we don’t give him the opportunity I am afraid we will lose him to someone else who will. And there is California. You have been traveling a lot lately. Those transcontinental flights will wear anyone down.’ His ancient hand, sun blotched from seventy summers at Martha’s Vineyard, rested on the arm of his chair. I reached out and covered it with my own. ‘Thank you for talking to me, Jason. I will give serious thought to what you have–and haven’t said. I promise.’ After he left, I crossed to the window again. Across the harbor, a 747 was taking off from Logan. In my mind, it was heading west. I had initially submitted to Brad to preserve my career, now that very submission was jeopardizing what it had been intended to save. But in the meantime, values had shifted. I was addicted. Obsessed. I didn’t know the right word. And I didn’t know addicted to what. The sex? The submission? For although it was always extremely sexual, there wasn’t always sex per se. At the dinner party. Torn in two as to whether I did or didn’t want something to have happened between them during the day. Sue had prepared a wonderful home cooked meal in honor of Joseph’s stay, and he really enjoyed it but seemed in no hurry to retire to bed. I was like a cat on a hot tin roof waiting for him to go to bed so I could quiz Sue about her day. But try as I might Joseph wouldn’t take a hint. So I finally deployed an over-acted yawn and declared that I was heading to bed. I could have swung for the young Ghanaian. Not only did he not take the hint, but with me now safely out of the way, he proceeded to spend the next hour chatting to Sue. As I eavesdropped on their conversation it was pretty clear that he was flirting with Sue, which made me suspicious that he had indeed discovered the secret of the bedroom games we played. As I listened to Joseph flirting with Sue I felt all mixed up inside. I couldn’t deny it was turning me on. But I was also incredibly frustrated as it delayed me finding.
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