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Poor defenseless horse, she is at my mercy. I hope she will be all right. ‘What is the matter with you? I have never felt you so distant. Every time I try to kiss you, you seem very distant and cold.’ ‘I am just tired and these drugs have my mind out in left field,’ I said, very apologetic. The truth was I was almost scared of him. A relationship cannot work if fear is involved. I had to talk to him. The ride back to the hotel was very quiet. I think in the five-minute ride I actually fell asleep. I really was tired. I was also not thinking straight. He helped me out of the car and up to our room. I was in need of a shower and some clean comfortable clothes. The problem was that all of my clothes were now dirty. I was planning to go home today. ‘I have no more clean clothes. Can I borrow a pair of sweat shorts and a tee-shirt, please?’ I asked, with sleep still clouding my thought process. I decided on taking a hot bath with my leg hanging out of the tub. Alex slowly helped me down. Tucked into the lower facade of a lesser wall is the postern door through which we arrived. I survey the central keep beyond the wall, craning my neck to understand its giddy height. But there is no ceasing to its edifice — at least not one I can discern. Its walls strain to reach scudding battleship grey clouds hurrying inland. And all around the central tower are curtain walls that ramble into distant hills whose green hues are rendered turgid in the half-light of this new evening. But this place is no ruin. I wonder what makes those who dwell here maintain such fortifications, and try to imagine what they might fear. The glow of lights from many rooms sparkle bright, diamonds and stars studded fast into unforgiving granite. And as I strain to calculate the tower's height, my legs fail me and I fall into blackness. *****I awake snug beneath heavy bedding, furs and wool blankets over silk sheets."You have returned to.
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