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.. Maybe he..." Gordon Peters? Are you kidding?" said Gloria. "By now, he's probably got it plastered all over the Internet. By now, half the nerds in the known universe are riveting their pretty blue eyes to your pretty little asshole, and jetting off to beat the band."Haley moaned, and burrowed her head back under Clyde the oversized teddy bear."It's not my fault," Gloria said."Oh, yeah?" Haley answered from under the bear. "Then whose fault is it?"We could blame it on Haley's ancient, wildly wooly-haired science teacher, Mr. Wilson, who a week ago paired Haley and Gordon for the fall science project. Or we could blame Haley's mother, who'd given Haley the mega-pixel digital camera for her birthday five days ago, which naturally Haley brought right over to Gloria's house so they could try it out, snapping picture after picture of each other. Or we could blame Gloria's older sister who, a few days earlier had emailed Gloria about the Asshole Club at her college."Speaking of. But you must never use them in public with people who you want to think well of you and respect you." I acted very contrite and said, "I understand Mom and I'm sorry and I won't do it again, but Mom, you use the word cream instead of sperm. Why is that ok?" She answered, "I know I do Danny and that's a good question. I started using that word years ago because I was, and still am, very shy and embarrassed about talking about sex with anyone that I didn't know real well, and so I got in the habit of finding innocent words to use in place of the real words when I absolutely had to talk about sex matters with someone like my mother, or a doctor or someone like that. Cream is not a vulgar word. It is a perfectly good word that is used to describe many ordinary things like face cream, cream from milk, whipped cream on cake and ice cream, and stuff like that. I have other innocent words that I sometimes use like you might sometimes hear me say "your thing" instead of your penis. But words.
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