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“God! I need more sex!” I said aloud to myself. I walked naked to the bedroom and stared at myself in the mirror, pretty good, I thought, still got the curves, not too much droop for a 36D and many have said I have a great ass. I was tempted to lie down and give myself some more relief but I wanted to get the right outfit for that day, today, and not have to think about it for the rest of the week. I got dressed in a skirt and blouse and headed off into town still undecided on exactly what I wanted. A new store had recently opened with more up market clothes than my regular stores so that would be my first stop. “Good morning, feel free to look around.” Said the young man, as soon as I entered the door. “Thank you.” I replied. “Is there anything particular you are looking for, is it for an event?’ He asked. “Yes!” I explained what the event was and he rushed off gathering various outfits from the racks, while I watched him. He look like he was mid twenties probably, a. Heck of an obituary. 2 weeks ago, he was acting tough on social media ... my vote for this year’s Darwin Award!✧ ✧ ✧GOOGLE Pizza (phone order conversation)Hello! Is this Gordon’s Pizza?No sir – it’s Google Pizza.I must have dialed a wrong number. Sorry.No sir – Google bought Gordon’s Pizza last month.OK. I would like to order a pizza.Do you want your usual, sir?My usual – you know me?According to our caller ID data sheet, the last 12 times you called you ordered an extra-large pizza with three cheeses – sausage – pepperoni – mushrooms and meatballs on a thick crust.OK – that’s what I want.May I suggest that this time you order a pizza with ricotta – arugula – sun-dried tomatoes and olives on a whole wheat, gluten free, thin crust?What? I detest vegetables!Your cholesterol is not good, sir.How the hell do you know?Well, we cross-referenced your home phone number with your medical records. We have the result of your blood tests for the last 7 years.Okay, but I do not want your rotten.
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