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"If you wear it I will be staring at you all night, looking at you in your skirt. I'll be wanting you to sit on my lap so I can touch your thighs like you do to me. It's dark in the club and no-one will see me sliding my hands up your skirt to touch your thighs" She was caressing my thighs through my jeans with her fingertips as she spoke. "Just think how much nicer it would be for me to be able to touch your bare thighs while you're sitting on my lap. Don't you want tot look good for me? Don't you want to turn me on?"I started to feel guilty - all she wanted to do was turn me on and for me to look really nice for her - and all I was doing was refusing. She was totally right, I did really like her wearing skirts for exactly those reasons and it was only reasonable that she might want to do the same things to me because they felt good. We knew some people at the club but they dressed extremely weirdly and would only make fun a little if I tried wearing something so strange. Jane's. It seems everything makes me think of naked women.The two sat sipping in silence.A little while later, a young man sat down on the other side of the old pilot and asked:“Are you a real pilot?”He replied, ‘I always thought I was, but I just found out I’m a lesbian.’Lemon PickerSally Mullihan of Coral Springs, Florida decided to take one of the jobs that most Americans are not willing to do.Sally applied for a job in a Florida lemon grove and seemed to be far too qualified for the job. She had a liberal arts degree from the University of Michigan and had worked as a social worker and a school teacher.The foreman frowned and said, “I have to ask you, have you had any actual experience in picking lemons?”“Well, as a matter of fact, I have,” she said: “I’ve been divorced three times, owned two Chryslers, I voted twice for Obama, and once for Hillary.”She starts work in the morning.Happy HourFour old retired men are walking down a street in Yuma, Arizona, two were from Nebraska and two.
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