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"Nope, you can't volunteer to do the dishes, Hairy has that covered, pick something else. Why? Because we've never had a single case of dysentery in the blank number summers he's been washing the dishes." That's something even the grad students can't say. Great dishwasher!So, I said, "sure, I'll do them."She proceeded to give me 200+ directions on how one does dishes, and I paid attention, even though I knew the way she was telling me to do them was NOT the way she does them. (She does them exactly the way I won awards for washing dishes.) So, I followed instructions, (I'm a good husband, I sit to pee, I never leave the seat up, I bring home my pay check and hand it over, I've been well trained by my mother and first wife. Never ask me to pay for something, I have no money, she has it.) washed them exactly as instructed, air dried them, put them away as designated, cleaned both sinks, sanitized the stovetop, picked up my book and fell asleep reading."I thought I told you how to do the. " Child!" Well, I'm supposed to do a book report or something in our video class about this shit and I ain't got nothing good to say about any of them and Miss Tomlinson wants us to write some kind of short story or film treatment, and I sure don' t know nothing about that." You think that's something you'd like to be doing for the rest of your life? I see you watching all those old shows and I was wondering about what you saw in them old shows you're always looking at. What's up with that Rochester and Jack Benny kick you been on so hot these last fee weeks? All I see you do at night is watch that old stuff. I mean, seriously, Jessica. Rochester and Buckwheat and Amos N' Andy. What do you see in them old Steppin Fetchet characters?" Whose Steppen Fetchit?" Oh, another long ago colored comedian. Should have heard Wilson. That guy could have really made it, I think. Had a hell of a role on the show. Played the cook in the Confederate Solider Rescue commercial. Still wearing his old.
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