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”Every eye at the table instantly fell on the man in the grey duster.He was out of his chair instantly, grabbing my lapel and sweeping his duster back from his gun. “Did you just accuse me of cheating?”“Not very well. If that deck of cards landed on a table in Tombstone, you’d be laughed out of town. Or shot. Possibly both. Though precisely in what order, I hesitate to think.”His hand twitched towards the butt of his revolver. Out of the corner of my eye, I watched the Sheriff move slowly towards us, but he couldn’t do much without triggering violence.I looked at the would-be card sharp and sighed. “Must you be in such a hurry to depart this stage and shuffle from this mortal coil?”He looked distinctly put out. “Do you always take ten words to say two words?”“All due apologies, my verbose nature is a persistent hazard of my chosen occupation. That was terribly misquoted Shakespeare. Allow me to clarify my words.” I looked him dead in the eye. “If you try to draw that gun, I will kill. I refused to tell her, so she smirked and claimed that I was lying just for ego and to hurt her, and that I shouldn’t do that.“She also said that she had cheated on me throughout our marriage, that she wasn’t sure if Allen or Crystal were mine, and that I was ‘great at most husbandly stuff, which is why I keep you around, but either you knew and looked the other way or else you were so stupid that you deserved me cheating on you.’ I retorted that neither of the kids could be mine, since they were Earth First idiots and no one of my blood could be that fucking moronic.“I also said that I had trusted her, more than she deserved, but that this was not a sign of weakness or stupidity, but of love. That shut her up for a bit, but I chose to move to the spare bedroom, which I have locked. She has been very steamed at me since then, and has refused to cook for me, which is probably a good thing. If she did, she’d likely poison me to get me out of the way.“Mind you, I am as guilty of.
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