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Nancy came over and eased my cotton panties down my legsand led me to the potty chair. "No big girl panties for you just yet, Ithink," she said as I sat down. "I agree," came a strange voice from the kitchen. I stared inhorror as two of Nancy's dyke friends watched my humiliation. Nancyjust smirked at me and then the three of them sat on the couch watchingTV. Once in a while they would look at me and direct some comments. Ihad to pee when I woke up that morning so that wasn't a problem, but ittook me a while before I could poop. Nancy and her friends left early in the evening to do some clubhopping but I begged off. I have a feeling that the two crewcutteddykes didn't really want me with them anyway. I was over my humiliationand had moved on to anger. I decided to call Amy. She had just finished cleaning up after dinner and was in a moodto talk. A half hour later she came in with a sixpack and we each had abeer and started talking. I told her about everything that had happenedin the. I woke up this morning next to a fat old bird who was snoring and farting ... so, at least I got home OK.The wife's back on the warpath again.She was up for making a home video last night and all I did was suggest we should hold auditions for her part.Angela Merkel arrives at Passport Control in Athens airport."Nationality?" asks the immigration officer."German," she replies."Occupation?"No, just here for a few days."As the coffin was being lowered into the ground at a Parking Officer's funeral, a voice from inside screams:"I'm not dead, I'm not dead. Let me out!"The Vicar smiles, leans forward, sucking air through his teeth and mutters,"Too late, mate, the paperwork's already done."I spent a couple of hours defrosting the fridge last night.Or "foreplay" as she likes to call it.After both suffering from depression for a while, me and the missus were going to commit suicide together yesterday.Strangely enough, however, once she killed herself I started to feel a lot better.So I thought.
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