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You can’t deny me that if you truly love me.” “You can’t blackmail me like that, Shania. I won’t let you use what I feel for you as leverage so you can manipulate me. We will make love when you can convince me that you are in love with me, not before.” “I don’t have to manipulate you, Eric. You already love me. You want to protect me, don’t you?” “Yes,” I nodded. “And, if I need anything, you’ll make sure I get it?” “I will provide for you, if that’s what you mean.” “Yes, that’s what I mean. And you won’t push me away from you, will you?” “No, I won’t do that.” “Will you let me come live with you in your apartment?” “If that’s what you want.” “And you’ll do damned near anything I ask of you, won’t you?” “Within reason,” I chuckled. “Eric, my husband is dead. I’m released. I’m free and alive. I want to celebrate that freedom and being alive.” “You don’t need me to do that,” I said softly. “But, I choose you,” she matched my tone. “I’m conveniently located,” I joked with her. It pissed. All the family were invited .iwas going to book a hotel when my aunt suggested i stay at her place.it wasnt a big deal as she was hosting the wedding eve party.now of course my mind was racing but then again so many others there.but i was staying and as long as i dint fall asleep or drink too much ----who knows??i just know that night was to change me forever.i still remember it clearly.well maybe i have to close my eyes and picture it all and the sounds and smells and tastes of that summers evening turned night.whats the best and worse night------going home alone without trying or trying and going home alone???i was always a trier.especially this night.i had had a couple of drinks on the train on the way to prewedding celebrations but i was surprised when auntie asked that i stay at her place.as the rest of family were staying at other relatives homes there wasnt a problem.when i arrived the party was in full swing.loads of people and friends i hadnt seen for a while and to be.
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