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“Sit,” I commanded after securing his coat firmly in my grasp. “I promise, you’ll be glad you have it available.”As the flight attendant made her rounds checking that seat belts were fastened, she politely asked, “Can I put your coat in the overhead for you?”Before Brian could say anything, I placed my hand on the coat covering his lap and answered, “No thank you we may need them during the flight.”Noticing my hand, the attendant smiled at me and said, “I understand.”“Huh? What does she understand?” Brian asked.“She understands that it may get cold later,” I responded with a winkOnce the flight attendant collected the empty cups and wrappers from the snack the cabin lights we dimmed and immediately people started to drift off the sleep.Leaning into Brian, I whispered softly, “I can’t’ believe we’re finally going to be able to be together. I’ve fantasized about making love with you every day since Thanksgiving.”Brian looked down at me, smiled, and said softly, “I love you,. I tended to get my feeling hurt if I didn’t talk myself out of it when the woman I chose to love, wanted me to share that love with others.In many ways I was the monogamous partner, and ended up choosing women that were fine with me choosing others besides them. That always made me feel like they loved me less than I loved them, and often caused me to withhold some of my feeling to avoid getting hurt.Deirdre didn’t want to hem me in, but wanted to be hemmed in by me. Most guys would love to have that in their relationship with their significant other. I wasn’t most guys and if I started to share the wealth, so to speak, my fear was that it would lessen what we had.Deirdre tried to soften the blow to my ego by explaining herself better. “Terry, you thrill me just like Nolan did. Your gift for thinking about me and my pleasure, while holding back until you know that I got there is wonderful and I am very thankful.“Even though I’ve only slept with two boys, I have ... done things ....
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