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The feeling of helplessness was intense. My existence of being fed, winded, nappy changed, bathed and dressed was totally controlled by the girl that owned the doll, and I was the doll.Some days she would get up and forget her doll. The cot that I slept in was in her bedroom. She would find something else to amuse her and sometime during the day her mother would change my nappy and feed me and put me back in the cot. I could tell that her mother had sympathy for me but the happiness of the daughter she had always wanted was the most important thing in her life. I spent hours in the cot, no longer feeling like a human being but the possession of another one. I thought back to my life before this had happened to me. I had been sad and bitter that nature had burdened me with a body that would not grow up, but at least to some degree I could control my life. Now that was different. To Abigail I was a doll. Her mind told her that the wriggling thing in the baby suit was her doll and she. How dare they talk to me like that," I think to myself. I am so disgusted as I am walking away. What does BBC even mean?For the next few weeks these two guys were saying these things to me. I was always annoyed, as you can imagine. Black guys, eww, gross! One day, on a lunch break with my co-worker Nate, I see the the muscular negro walking by the restaurant. I quickly pretend to act like Nate is my boyfriend as he is approaching me. "What's up, baby?" He asks me."Please leave me alone," I say to him."Is this your boyfriend," he asks me."As a matter in fact, he is my fiance." Good! He could watch us fuck on you're wedding night." Gross! I would never be with a black guy."He then leans in to whisper into my ear."I love that body of yours, bitch. You obviously have Latin blood on you, you are way too sexy to be a white girl." Yes, my mother is from Bolivia. She wouldn't like a negro being with me." I am going to get straight to the point, whore. Meet me and my boy at the dark ally.
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