Creampie On The First Date!

Realizing he needed a haircut before the next day's meeting, he called down to the desk clerk to ask if there was a barber on the premises."I'm afraid not, sir," the clerk told him apologetically, "but down the hall from your room is a vending machine that should serve your purposes."Sceptical but intrigued, the salesman located the machine, inserted $15.00, and stuck his head into the opening, at which time the machine started to buzz and whirl. Fifteen seconds later the salesman pulled out his head and surveyed his reflection, which reflected the best haircut of his life.Two feet away was another machine with a sign that read,"Manicures, $20.00." Why not?" thought the salesman. He paid the money, inserted his hands into the slot, and the machine started to buzz and whirl. Fifteen seconds later he pulled out his hands and they were perfectly manicured.The next machine had a sign that read, "This machine provides a service men need when away from their wives, 50 cents."The salesman. If it were the color yours is, it would mean I'm not presently bound." Mine is different from yours?" Lavender was suddenly hopeful that maybe hers was different in some way."What? You never seen it?" When she shook her head he got up and moved over to the dressing table. Rooting around in one of the drawers he finally pulled out a hand-held mirror and tossed it to her on the bed.Lavender noticed immediately that she looked as gaunt and pale as she had ever seen herself, although she cared little for that. Then she saw the pewter colored band around her neck. It looked identical to Banar's except his was a rich golden color."This mean I have no master?" she asked hopefully."No," he said, dashing her hope. "It means you aren't bound to anyone right now. Under the law you're still a slave; just the ownership may be in dispute."But that won't last long," he continued. "The first person who comes along with the proper equipment can do the ritual and you'll be theirs till they get rid of.
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