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Normally a guy would have known clearly my feelings on that! One guy in the past had found my hand stinging him across their face for a similar thing!The unusual sensation of feeling his hand on the edge of my short dress and stockings had a powerful yet delightful effect. Never would I have guessed I would feel stimulated by the apparent eroticism of being touched as a woman by the hand and fingers of a man. Having my thin, tight dress and silken stockings being gently caressed in such a tender manner had a magical electricity that caused my eyes to open wide. I suddenly realized that during this first slow dance of my feminine life, I felt incredibly female and yet I also felt so very vulnerable and perhaps even exposed. I felt so feminine in this man’s arms and without any conscious thought, I instinctively held him closer.John smiled, looked me in the eye and winked at me. I smiled back but suddenly I was getting kissed on the mouth! I was stunned yet his lips were so tender and. I knew he cared forme, but it was not enough.Yet, I prayed to Jacob's G-d and asked Him to give my sister a child.Nine months later Joseph was born.Recently, I was with child again. This time I prayed to make my unbornson a girl and let Rachel have another son. G-d did as I requested, butthe price was too high. If I had known, I would not have made the trade.A few months ago, Father came after us wanting to bring us back. He wasalso furious that he lost his idols. He searched our belongings, butRachel hid them under her and claimed it was her time of the month. Herclaim made them useless to him even if he found them under her. Sherisked too much. It would have been her life and the baby's because Papadidn't know she was with child. But I admired her bravery. Little did Iknow her life would still be forfeited.I know now Jacob loves me, but never will it be like his love for Rachel.I accept what I can have. And I sit here in sackcloth and ashes unableto stop my tears. I.
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