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I really didn't want to talk with her in the short period we would have had before having to leave for work. It wasn't enough time to resolve anything for one thing and for another whatever was said would just be baggage that I would have to carry around with me all day and I had enough of that already. I spent most of the day thinking about Pam's attitude of the previous night and it disturbed me. I knew the dynamics of our relationship would shift a little if she gave me my fantasy, but I was seeing a major personality change here and it wasn't for the better.Pam wasn't home when I got there and when she wasn't home by six-thirty I cobbled some leftovers together for dinner and then ate. It was eight-thirty and I was sitting on the couch watching MSNBC when Pam came home."Late night at the office?" No, I was with Doug and lost track of time. I stopped at the liquor store and picked up a chilled Cabernet and I think it might be a good idea to drink about half of it and then have a. Then I felt this overwhelming sadness.I discovered this through porn. Porn, I discovered this through porn. I didn’t discover this through normal media. No programs about me or my kind. No easily accessible websites are dedicated to this issue. No PSA announcements, nothing. Instead, those of us born with this usually get pushed into the dark corners. We’re bundled in with those that chose to be like us. Those who are transgendered, crossdressers, transvestites. We’re sexualized and made into a special fetish category. I suddenly felt alone again… Now, before you become upset with me, understand that I have no issue with anyone that is born into a male body but feels like it’s a mistake. Anyone who chooses to be trans or cross-dress or any of the above, I have no quarrel with you and I completely support you for choosing to be you.My anger is with those that look down on us, that want to hurt us, or worse, that want to get rid of us…I know that I’m drifting from my story. I just feel.
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