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Who knows?After completing the course I got a job at a local pub as a sous chef, or idjit that does all the hard work, and really learnt a lot about the trade. I’m one of those guys who will sometimes make out I know less than I do because people who do know like to tell you things. They’ll call it teaching, and there is no doubt that you can pick up a lot, but really a lot of it is just massaging their egos. Whatever, the more you learn the better.I’d been there nearly a year when a small village pub wanted someone to take over their restaurant and I talked my way in. I was pretty successful there and I was very happy for a couple of years after which the owners decided to sell. The price was beyond anything we could afford and it was bought by a couple who, would you believe, had marketing backgrounds. Their idea was to reduce costs and instead of properly prepared food to use ‘boil in the bag’. In other words buy in the meals ready to microwave and just add some veg. This really. Because Audrey and I were the only smokers in the crowd, I ran into her a few times outside the back door. We exchanged the sort of chit-chat that people who aren’t really interested in one another do just to be polite: What do you do? Etcetera. She told me that she recently bought her first house, a townhouse in the suburbs. She was a technician at a company that installed and maintained computer equipment. I mentioned that I worked at the newspaper. That’s how she knew how to get in touch. She called me the following week. “I’m having a painting party at my new house and I want you to come,” she said. Audrey was a loud talker. “Sounds like fun,” I replied, thinking it would definitely be not. “I’ll have pizza and beer and other stuff,” she said. Then in a soft voice, almost a murmur, she said, “I’d really like to see you again.” My warped male brain took that as a coy reference to “other stuff,” and I promised to go. The good news was next Saturday I had a date; the bad news was.
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