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I can’t run out on him! And I don’t act like a girl!”****************************************************Six months later, in China, a small red-headed girl who is standing in a small pool of water has pulled open the front of her martial arts gi and is looking at a very female chest in horror.Next to the pool a man dressed in a classic Mao uniform is looking on with a sorrowful look on his face. “Oh, is too bad. Mr. Customer fall into spring of Drowned Girl. Very tragic story of girl who drowned fifteen hundred years ago. Now whoever falls into spring turns into girl when splashed with cold water.”“No way. I can’t be a girl!” The girl wails.******************************************“So cold water turns you into a girl, but hot water turns you back,” Soun Tendo said as he tried to pour water from a boiling kettle overtop of Ranma. “That’s not so bad.”“Hot water, not boiling!” Ranma yelled as she ducked away from the stream of boiling water. “And how is this not so bad?” She. We sat stewing in our glass and steel fermenter. The car started playing up. We were not alone in this. Littering grass verges, cars stopped, surrounded by more steam than the marshalling yards at Clapham Junction. Suspicious wisps began to seep from our bonnet, too, and Dad had the car heater fans running full blast deflecting heat from the engine, turning the saloon car’s interior into a dripping sauna. All our windows were open as far as they would go, why do back windows only wind down halfway? We three kids were hot and frazzled, bitchy and resorted to pinching each other, with Dad threatening to stop and ‘sort’ us out. Only incurring the anger of the motorist immediately behind, prevented Dad venting his frustrations through the palm of his hand. ‘It’s them!’ I protested. ‘It’s ‘im!’ the girls chorused in rehearsed harmony, ‘Make ‘im stop, Mum!’ They displayed evil grins while our parents faced front, transforming instantly to poker-playing mavericks or cherubic angels.
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