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“Fuck her,” Jaimee said. I was like whut. No, but really, I was startled. I even held my head slightly bent to the left to show my startledness. The girl didn’t move a muscle, she just stood close to Jaimee and did nothing. I looked at her, and I enjoyed it. She was tiny, even tinier than Jaimee, but her boobs were bigger. I say that now, because I didn’t dare to say it while I was there, since Jaimee would in fact have killed me. It was, however, true. “Sorry,” I said, “I thought you said something funny. What was that?”Jaimee stood up and pushed the girl towards me. She really was tiny, her head barely reached my chest. I reckoned I could pick her up with one hand and have enough power left to throw her a couple of yards. I didn’t have the time to try, though, because Jaimee grabbed her by the hair and held her in front of me. That poor girl, I thought, being handled so roughly by another chick. Oh well. “I want you to fuck her,” Jaimee said. I have to admit, the bitch didn’t do. “I want one just like that,” she kept repeating. At last the mother said, “If you are a good girl and stop thinking about it now, when you grow up, you will have one.” “And if I’m bad?” asked the little one.“Then,” answered the mother, “You will have many.”“Hello, is this the Sheriff’s Office?”“Yes. What can I do for you?”“I’m calling to report ‘bout my neighbor Virgil Smith ... He’s hidin’ marijuana inside his firewood! Don’t quite know how he gets it inside them logs, but he’s hidin’ it there.”“Thank you very much for the call, sir.”The next day, the Sheriff’s Deputies descend on Virgil’s house. They search the shed where the firewood is kept. Using axes, they bust open every piece of wood, but find no marijuana. They sneer at Virgil and leave.Shortly, the phone rings at Virgil’s house.“Hey, Virgil! This here’s Floyd ... Did the Sheriff come?”“Yeah!”“Did they chop your firewood?”“Yep!”“Happy Birthday, buddy!”Whoever said that rednecks weren’t sentimental?This compliments of the.
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