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"Warwick, the first thing I want you to know is that we all love you unconditionally, and without you, this family would be incomplete. That being said, your behaviour over the past two weeks has been unlike anything I have ever seen you show us. I understand that it's a hard thing to go through rejection, but enough is enough. Once again I love you very much, please return to us." She hugged me tightly, then sat down again and turned to Dad.As he stood up, he gave me a smirk, well at least one of them wasn't insane."Warwick, as you know, I was rejected by the first woman I proposed to as well. However, This did not leave me sitting around at my family home, wallowing in self-pity, not knowing what to do with myself. I went out and found your Mother Alice, the most beautiful and well-mannered housewife a man could ever dream of."Well, whoopee for him."I'm sure that there's a woman out there for you somewhere, that can at least imitate her elegant looks."Then Dad sat down and hugged. Come see me, Brad. I’ve wanted to meet you ever since Danny and Chica started drooling over you when you first showed up out there.”“I’ll see you on Monday, Janice.”I hung up before the woman made any more revolutionary family disclosures. I had to call Andy. The first thing he said was, “No returns, no refunds. You broke it, you bought it. You saw it even if you haven’t touched it, so you keep it.”“You are so crude and cruel to your family, Andy.”“You’d know why I’m this way if you knew what it was like to grow up with all my sisters and only one brother, Brad. I’m having enough trouble getting rid of my own girls. The older ones are doing something like Danny, but Chica is a cousin and not a daughter. I have a daughter in Overland Park who is one of the craziest. She has one of her sisters with her, and is talking about another going there. I told her husband the same thing; I have a no return policy.”I told Andy, “I just got off the phone with Janice. She’s far too open telling.
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