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We were at my youngest child’s appointment. We were in the exam room. All of a sudden there was a lot of movement in the hallway. It wasn’t an emergency or anything, it just became busy. Between the activity in the hallway and the discussion in the room it triggered the anxiety thing. The doctor bless her heart is an exuberant person by nature. She said something really loud. I about came unglued and said “DON’T DO THAT!”. I startled everyone including myself as it jumped right out of my mouth. I apologized and explained my situation. So it looks like I get to carry my sensory equipment everywhere now.An unexpected thing is that during an anxiety episode heavy metal or tribal music is soothing in an unusual way. When I say heavy metal I mean death metal, the fringe type of metal. Hardcore heavy metal. What is unexpected about it is at any other time I can’t stand the sound of it. During an anxiety attack it is as though a part of my mind is racing like an engine without a gear. “Besides, they only knew that I was going to ask you, it still wouldn’t be official until you said yes.”With that, she launched herself at me kissing all over my face.“Yes, yes, yes, James, is that official enough for you?”I could only nod stupidly, an art that was very useful over the years.“You still owe me a big apology though,” she said.I wasn’t sure what she meant until she laid back spreading her legs wide open.I may be slow, but I’m not stupid, and I spent a good part of that night apologizing between her legs, until she needed something else there, then we fell exhausted into each other’s arms, until the morning sun peeking through the blinds woke us up.We got married right after graduation, and I don’t know if it was magic, or Vodou, or just dumb, blind luck, but it was everything that I could have hoped for.We got good jobs in our chosen fields, and our careers were progressing nicely. Our sex life, amazingly, got even better as we learned about each other’s bodies.Several.
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