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’ I wheeled myself over to the phone and dialed a number from memory from when I worked for the office of the Secretary of the Navy. When it was answered, I gave them my recognition code and explained the situation stating that if they didn’t help, I’d handle the matter myself. I knew that the person answering the call would already have my records up. They would have someone here real quick, because they knew how I sometimes handled situations that I found annoying and since I’m listed as temporarily mentally incompetent, I couldn’t be charged for any criminal act. They’d have someone here as quick as they could get here. It pays to know someone in high places sometimes, especially if you have a service record like mine. I worked with Special Ops people when I was in the Army, and I’d done a few things. I’d also worked for the military on some odd jobs after I got out. It’s probably why they reactivated me when I got hurt in Iraq. When I finished my call, I hung up the phone and. This figurine will enable you to experience your deepest sexual desires. All you have to do is kiss it, and recite the incantation below. After that, place the figurine in a prominent location and wait for your desires to be fulfilled. Enjoy!’”He got the feeling the woman on the other end of the line was stifling a laugh. He was overcome with rage when she said, “Well, if I received an offer like that, I’d take it up in no time. I’ve got a date this Saturday. A thing like that’d be just the job.”“PC Whippy!” Professor Evans exploded. “You’re an officer of the law, and I am a concerned citizen making a complaint!”“Yes, sir,” the woman said, sounding suitably chastened. “Of course, sir. My apologies, sir.” She paused. “If you don’t mind my saying so, sir, it doesn’t sound a particularly threatening missive.”“That’s hardly the point,” Professor Evans said.“No, sir,” the woman said. “Well, according to subsection 84 of the Unsolicited Mail Act, you are of course entitled to make a formal.
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