Can Someone, Anyone, Help This Stupid Slut...

Yet, within my soul, I know that that option is not. The flow of self-depreciating sadness moving across each numb nerve with the quiet coldness of ice, numbing my heart to what I have been part of, have seen. As tempting, in its own way, as the power I could open myself to. I choose. There really was not much of a choice, the decision made in an instant. I rein in my mind and flow, not outward as a waterfall, but inward, sinking into the black hole that is the remnant of my heart. Darkness swallows me yet I ignore it, I search. Moving across surfaces that reek of memory and sadness, I begin the long road through a self-made hell. Heat tears at my atoms, Cold sears my neutrons from balance, both fusion and fission work on my mind at once. Barriers. I collapse them, with such effort that my body must be failing by now. My heart must be beating so slowly that a doctor would call me dead, soon I will be if I continue inward. I never hesitate. Cambering across mounds of carrion rotted. " Of that, I have no doubt Jack, none, and I thank you," Carmen responded smiling back, "but of my retaining control over this ship I'm not so self assured." Understood," Scarlet replied."So," Carmen continued, "in most cases of things that effect this ship I'm all for argument, in this case however I am not. We have made up our minds. The search for Shadrach Bass will be delayed for a while. If after you hear our plans you like the service, well, you'll join us and if you don't, gentlemen, why then, you're free to answer no, free and welcome to leave, departing with our sincerest friendship and goodwill going with you." Isabel, if you please," Carmen addressed the younger girl without turning her eyes away from Scarlet soliciting Isabel to convey her concerns, which the girl did, and with the same compassion, pain, and driving desire to help her sister as she had done previously."That's it gentlemen," Carmen said after Isabel had stopped talking, "the short and long of it. And as.
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