NYLAAHH – 18 NOV
For me, there is a big difference between being bisexual and bi-romantic, for a lack of a better word.I like having sex with other men. I like to suck their cocks, like to be sucked, I like having anal sex.I even like to kiss other men, either by means of foreplay, or while we fuck. But I do not feel a romantic connection during those encounters, and never share the same emotional connection as I do when I have sex with a female partner.Even casual sex with women is different. Most women I have been with for 'just sex' type of rendezvous, still liked to know a thing or two about me before getting down to it.With men, it is practically expected to go down to business almost immediately. Also, when engaging in gay sex, men, including myself, are much more comfortable to express their desires or state of mind.I like telling other men to stroke their big cocks (regardless of how big they really are) while I am fucking them, or to ask them to 'shove their fat cocks' in my ass. It turns me. I am tempted tosay yes. If I am going to be a functioning woman, in so many ways, itwould be right to be fertile.I shall tell mum and dad tomorrow that I am going ahead.April 2nd 2013I am writing this in the hospital. Surgery is in the morning and I amshitting myself. Jen has been here for hours until I sent her home. Mumand dad visited and said they would be here when I came round tomorrow.What have I let myself in for?April 4th 2013God I hurt. I have some pretty powerful painkillers but they are notreally doing more than take the edge of. I woke up yesterday earlyevening after having been out for, I think it was ten hours. I wastotally spaced out, feeling sick and in massive pain. I saw Jen and therents before they knocked me out again.I slept through till this morning and did not feel massively better then.Every move that I make is agony and if I do not move everything hurtsanyway.The consultant and his team saw me this morning. They were absolutelyfull of themselves. Apparently.
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