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" Granddad Bill- clearly badlyhurt by my decision- simply shakes his head again and stands up,deliberately directing his gaze away from me."I think we should leave too," he says, taking his wife's hand andleaving the house, though less dramatically than my other grandparentshad. Stunned, I stand in the middle of the living room, my heart reelingfrom the rejection."Nikki," mum says comfortingly, wrapping me in a tight, motherly hug andallowing me to bawl my eyes out into her shoulder."Sarah!" Dad yells. "Get down here!" Almost instantly, my girlfriend isby my side, leading me to the sofa and holding me tight, not letting gountil the pain subsides...Thirty minutes pass, and I don't move from my seat on the sofa. I'vestopped crying, but my perfect girl's life has hit its first major snag,and it feels like I've been hit by a wrecking ball."Am- am I really that-" I ask, my voice still quivering and interruptedwith sobs."NO!" Sarah says angrily, cutting me off before I can finish my. She had, of course, confessed. Why not? Honesty was supposed to be the best policy. Apparently not, she learned.She'd spent the rest of that year in a special place for children with special needs. A 'Kiddy Nuthouse' she'd later call it. She learned very quickly two major things while she was there. Nuns have no sense of humor and honesty is never the best policy.Disturbed, deceptive, manipulative, words that were lost on a seven-year-old but keeping secrets, pretending, hiding, those she'd understood. She'd gotten very good at those.When she'd returned to school the next year she'd discovered the other students had a new found respect for her.Maybe respect isn't the right word. Maybe fear would be more accurate.She learned quickly how to use their fear to get what she needed, what she wanted. However, by the time she'd reached junior high she realized what she really wanted were friends. So, she began the difficult process of disguising herself, using kindness and sweetness to draw.
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