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My grand passion wasn't a chick at all. She was a male. And for the first time I saw her face.And she saw mine.I think I also saw a little smile . But the glance she gave me, brief though it was, was steady. I wondered what she might have been thinking of me. She? Why did I keep thinking and saying she? I wondered what he might have been thinking about me?I went to the art room for my next lesson.How did I feel about that? Was I shocked? Yes, a little. Was I confused? Definitely. Was I in denial? Now there's a big question when you're seventeen.I certainly didn't think I was queer.For most of the day I was distracted. I was a young Aussie bloke. I was 'on the team'. I belonged. I wasn't a pooftah.That night, I went to bed early and thought about it. Not about Katie. About my sexuality.Did I fancy ... who? How about Daryl Benger, the school's best diver. He had a beautiful body. Appealing eyes. A nice mouth. Did I fancy him?"NO!" I told myself.Did I fancy Eddie Besant, the execrable. So why don’t you and your little girlfriend take your shit and get the fuck off of my train.” The man said throwing Gray-eye’s bag at him. The train rolled into another stop and we both got off silently and quickly. “Come on, Maybe we can get you on another car!” gray-eyes said, grabbing my hand. But no sooner did he say the words did the train pull off. “I am so sorry about that.” He said, his beautiful eyes filling with remorse. “ I feel so bad” he went on. “ Oh its not your fault. Some people are just fucked-up like that.” I said, hoping he would take notice to my adult choice of words. “ But still, I want to make it up to you. How about I find us a cab. I’ll pay.” He offered. “ Oh no. Its okay the next train comes in about 45 minutes I can wait.” I said. Something about riding in a car with this man made me nervous. “No I insist. Where do you live?” I opened my mouth to refuse again but I gave in and told him that I lived on Grand Avenue. “Oh that’s not too far. .
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