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Normally, even though his tone had been friendly and sweet, I'd havebeen offended by so obviously forward a remark; most likely, I'd haveslapped his face--but Brad was just way too cute for either suchresponse, and, instead, I merely returned his smile. "Sounds likeyou've been reading a little too much Updike lately," I retorted.As he busied himself with the ice cream, Brad, brow wrinkled and eyesagleam, asked, "Updike?" John Updike," I explained. "Famous writer." I know who he is," Brad said.As if he hadn't, I continued. "Among other works, he wrote a shortstory, 'A & P,' in which a grocery clerk, unfolding a dollar bill, doesso with great tenderness, advising the reader that it had 'just. . .come from between the two smoothest scoops of vanilla I had ever knownwere there,' meaning his customer's breasts." I know the story," Brad confided. With a wink, he added, "Where do youthink I got the line?" You're not very original, are you?" I asked him."About some things, I am," he. "Can I get your bags?" I don't have any bags." I shrugged and started wondering what kind of a dream this was. I mean the bit with Elvis was cool, but now it was just getting surreal."Oh, well, that's fine too." He gestured and I walked past him slowly into the grand foyer of a large hotel. "I've reserved you the bridal suite." He raised his eyebrows, "I hope you'll like it." Bridal suite?" I stared at him. "What happened to the lake of fire and pitchforks and endless torments and stuff?" Huh?" He looked genuinely shocked. "I'm not sure," he said cautiously. Then he brightened, "But we do have a great brunch buffet, really, it's good. We call it the Bruffet. Are you hungry?" No, not really." Oh." He seemed sort of sad."Where is everyone?" I looked around and the place seemed deserted."Everyone?" He looked around too."Yeah, um ... Where's Adolf Hitler? And Jeffrey Dahlmer? And um ... Judas? Isn't Judas here? I'd love to talk to him." Uh ... no, there's just us." Huh?" You're the first.
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