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"Oh, no, young man," he said, in a pleasant voice, amused, "I hardly expect you to lift me. Instead, could you please untangle my hair from my bristly friend here?"Sure enough, his long black and gray braid was snarled in the overhanging branches.I drew my dagger."Let me just get a grip on this branch and I'll whittle you free." No!" he exclaimed. "Cut the braid if you have to, but leave the tree alone." Why?" Dutifully, I began plucking hairs from the branches without harming the tree. "It's just a tree." My warrior's braid took me a few years to grow," he explained, patiently. "But when this tree was a seedling, our ancestors were chipping stone tools and most still thought of fire as a dangerous novelty." How can it be that old?" I asked, plucking the last pine needle from his hair.The tremendous muscles in his arm tightened and he proved that he didn't need my help getting back to the path. With a heave and a twist, he landed gracefully on the path beside me."I have watched this. Most of the blokes in the club were familiar. (Familiar, in every sense of the word, I’m sorry to say.) And she knew every single one of the four blokes on Table 6!There was pervy Bill, of course, who’d now taken two great handfuls of Jenny’s arse. On either side of Bill were his two drinking pals, Jerry Slugg and Arthur Slyme. What a sleazy pair of sex pests they’d been over the years. But worst of all, look who was sat behind Jenny and trying to peek at her anus. Stuart Little! The knobhead estate agent.Several years ago, Jenny had had the poor judgement to go to the pics with Stuart. How he had drooled and groped in the darkness! On that occasion, Jenny had been able to deal with Stuart quite firmly, by ‘accidentally’ emptying her coffee into his lap. This time round, though, she’d have to be a bit ‘friendlier’.Word on the street was that Stuart Little’s manhood was well described by his second name. Well, within a few minutes Jenny would unfortunately be the town.
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