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“He shoots, he scor ... ooh, off the rim!” Would have been a three-pointer, too, from three tables away. Usually when I arc a crumpled page at the waste bin, I nail it. If ‘usually’ means like, 30%. I made a mental note go for the rebound on my way out.I’m not much of a sports person, but I was a little punch-drunk on metaphors at the moment. That never happens in my day job as a tech writer -- I haven’t seen a figure of speech in all my time there -- but when I’m writing for myself I can spread my wings. Ha, did it again.The crumpled paper deserves a word. Maybe it’s an affectation, maybe just a way to separate my writing ‘lives’, but I reserve the laptop for work and scribble in pencil for fun. Almost none of it ever gets transcribed. This, what you’re reading, first saw life on a lined yellow pad in this very cafe. It feels so meta.They know me here. I pay my table rent. I’m not that leech in the corner nursing a flat white for hours. Lucky for me they serve a great ham and cheese. ’ ‘Love me?’ ‘Yes Mrs Judie, Tony loves you. I just want him to love you more. You just stay here and relax. You need your sleep.’ ‘Relax, sleep.’ Judie felt her eyes growing heavy once more. Her worries over the Maidtron’s outfit subsiding as she drifting back into her slumber. ********** The next morning Judie was awoken by the Maidtron. ‘Why aren’t you in the kitchen?’ demanded the robot. Despite having slept for almost the whole of the day before, Judie’s head still felt groggy and the robot’s interrogation only served to confuse her. ‘Kitchen? Why?’ ‘Well for starters, there are still dirty dishes left in the sink and the oven is filthy.’ Judie was trying to comprehend what was going on. Why was the robot giving orders to her? ‘But robot,’ she protested meekly. ‘Robot clean kitchen, Judie rest.’ ‘Exactly.’ snapped the Maidtron. ‘I want to rest and I can’t do that with a dirty kitchen.’ ‘But me Judie. Not robot.’ ‘No, you are a robot. You may look like me but that is all. There.
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