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I had been an active closet queen since puberty, and had been crossdressing secretly since that time. Oh yeah, like most closet queens, I went through periods where I swore I'd never cross dress again, and I'd "purge," which is what we queens call gathering up all our ladies apparel - dresses, high heels, lipstick, etc. - and tossing it in to a supermarket trash can, swearing never to indulge in such a loathsome activity ever again. And when we're doing this, we sincerely mean it. We hate ourselves for being the disgusting faggots that we are, and we desperately want to be "normal," meaning: heterosexual. Sometimes these periods last only a few days or weeks, other times, months. But we always end up right back at Walmart or Target, buying high heels, short shorts, dresses and skirts, lipstick and other cosmetics, and returning to dressing up and masturbating to internet porn. In my case, I wanted to be "normal" so badly that, when the opportunity arose to marry a biological woman, I. She had, at one time, started to use the toilet water, after it had flushed, to try to keep clean, but even this she had given up on.She had no motivation for anything, spending her time laying in the bed, waiting for the next meal. The meals were the only things that meant anything any more. Other than them. There was nothing. The only sounds were her own feet, and the occasional flushing of the toilet.She had been told at the start that her life would be solitary, and this had proved to be the case. Whoever was delivering her food, was not seen, and never spoke. She had, at first tried to get them to talk to her, but had been met only with the continued silence.The only reason she knew they were there, was the hatch opening and closing to bring her food, and take away the plate and cup after the meal.She had no idea if it were day or night. The constant light kept the room the same all the time. She wondered what would happen when the bulb needed changing, and then laughed. How.
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