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Soon after our sixteenth birthdays, an incident happened that changed our lives forever. The US military took down the Organization.This did not come as a surprise. The risk of getting too big and too hard to hide, had always been a problem. If this ever happened, we were told to play the part of scared captive kids, who were being held for interrogation by the Organization.We were questioned by the "experts" in the ATF, FBI, and Department of Homeland Security. We had dummy identities so two runaway orphans, who had escaped from an orphanage two months before.After about forty-eight hours, we were released to the welfare system, where we were put in a foster home.Our foster parents, the Ardens, were a couple who lived on a farm in Iowa, with two kids of their own. The father raped me almost daily, and my brother, Eric, was worked from dawn to dusk, as their personal slave. They threatened us with lame consequences, if we told anyone.We could have killed both of them any time we. Yet I seemed to get that impression. What seemedto concern her most was how I was using masturbation to, as she put it,to change the subject at hand, no pun intended. I was using it as a meansof avoidance. A way to avoid thinking about certain things that might betroubling me. Like when my thoughts would turn to A_ and I would get themout of my mind by escaping into masturbation. Something like that.Indeed the therapy sessions were causing me to think more about thingsthat made me uncomfortable. And maybe it's true that I seem to bemasturbating even more lately."So Jeff," Ilona began one day, "how are things?" Fine?" I said knowing that really I was supposed to say more. While mycomfort level was quite high with Ilona, there were certain moments whenI would shy into myself."How did your promise to yourself from the last session go," she asked?I thought back to the last session. We had covered a number of thingsthen."Well," I said after a pause, "well you know I really did notice that.
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