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She got scared.She wondered if she could really be wife and eventually a mother? Sheknew that this was always a possibility when she became Gina, and at timesshe had wanted both. But now the possibility seemed more than apossibility. It seemed like a definite reality.Gina wanted to talk to someone, but who could she talk to? Who wouldunderstand? Who would believe her? She could talk to Thomas, but would heunderstand? Did he have the experience of living both genders? Ginaconcluded that Thomas could help her only in an academic sense. Hecouldn't relate to Gina on an emotional levelGina kept up good front. Nolan didn't suspect that his fianc? was havingsecond thoughts. However, she wasn't sure how long she could hide herfears from Nolan. She knew that she needed to do something or else herengagement to her true love was over.Nolan's school was beginning their Spring break. This meant that he wouldbe away for a week at a tournament in Salt Lake City. Gina knew this washer. I had also never seen anyone with skin that dark.Martha was the color of fresh-brewed coffee. Not mocha, not tan, not any variation on the theme.She was black. Totally, completely black.It's not a criticism. It's a fact. I report what my eyes told me.Now, let me be honest with you. My parents expressed a kind of tacit disapproval of blacks, and discouraged my brothers and me from hanging out with any of "them." Bringing one of "them" home was just not acceptable.I understood my parents' objections, and abided by them, but I did not absorb them. I could accept their viewpoints without being affected by them.Thus, while I had never dated any of the black girls in my high school, or in college for that matter, it was for lack of mutual interest, not racism (whatever that is). Similarly, it caused me no consternation when I was smitten by Martha. I put those thoughts aside, though -- it wasn't like I was ever going to date the woman, or anything.Let me set the stage a little better,.
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