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."Margaret ... I need you, please." My voice was wobbling all over the place, tears running down my face.Somewhere deep inside, the thought of Margaret had made a small spark of my near extinct survival instinct flare, some inner vision of myself sliding into a new and even more lethal addiction shocked me enough to react."Tomorrow afternoon, 4.30pm." She said brusquely, and rang off before I could tell her that I needed to talk to her immediately more than I wanted her to use me tomorrow.Ben had gone; I was more alone than ever, with the knowledge that morphine was just too wonderfully comforting, and I didn't think I'd be able to resist its lure for long. I'd thrown up after the first jack, but even that didn't matter. For a timeless flight of hours, I was happy, benign, calm and friendly. Nothing mattered. I felt content; I dreamed vivid poppy-dreams. With Ben's connections and the money ever ready at my disposal, it would be so very easy to get more, to insulate myself forever. I have to admit that it stung a bit. She waited a few minutes for the shot to take effect. Then reached down and took my scrotem in her hand, and pinched it lightly."Can you feel that?" She asked."No." I replied"Okay we'll get started."She took a scalpel in hand and made a small incision in the scrotem and pushed the testicles out. She carefully cut the tissue connecting the glands severing them.Then she stitched up the incision completing the process"All finished." She said smilingOver the next few weeks I noticed changes to my body, my hips got more rounded and my breasts got bigger. After a couple months Dr. Bowman said it was time to feminize my face. A plastic surgeon met with me and we talked about what he wanted to do. A nose job, re-work of my chin and a few other details, to which I agreed.The surgery wasn't too bad, but the recovery was painful. But the results, I must say were worth it. After several weeks, the swelling had gone down and I looked in the mirror. I looked.
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