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I got used to that, everyone I have ever known except for Ted just ‘combined’ Christmas and my birthday. Silly, yes. But it mattered to me, it is MY day, I wanted it! Ted always gave it to me, he went far above and beyond anything normal to make me the most important part of his life, just two days after Christmas! He knew the one part of life and one’s sex life so many miss, he took the time to feed my mind! But slowly, not suddenly, he was gone from me. Sudden is pain, sadness, it is over and done. The phone rings, a Police Officer at the door, shock then over, just grief and then the financial trappings of death to deal with. Slowly is day after day of worry and unending pain, feeling helpless but trying, on and on. It is like trying to hold onto a slippery rope, the hands try but fail, a bit at a time. I had to watch him die over nearly 2 years, that was hard. I see patients regularly who are in similar condition, Ted never did the one thing most do, complain. He just accepted,. "Toddle down to thebathroom," she told me with a smile and a light pat to my rear. "Yourtush is definitely one of your cuter attributes!" she told me as shefollowed me.My entire body blushed with that comment. "Mommy..." I whined.She ran a bathtub full of bubbles and even tossed in a couple bath toysthat I played with as she washed me thoroughly. "I'd love to let youstay in here all night Princess, but we need to get to bed."I nodded. "Okay," I said and stood as she dried me as the drain wasopened, then wrapped me in a towel. She hadn't actually washed my hair,though it had gotten a little bit wet, so she just lightly dried itbefore carrying me to the nursery.She pulled out one of the pink princess diapers and made sure to powderme before taping me inside of it. A blanket sleeper followed to coverme in its warmth. After a short few steps to the rocking chair she satdown."Why didn't you nurse me more today?" I asked her as she pulled hershirt off, leaving her only in her bra."I really.
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