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Now I have no illusions about myself. I'm average. I've always looked younger than my age. I was the guy who got carded when I went to buy a beer at a new bar, even at 30. But now, at 48 with more gray in my brown hair, and a bit of a belly now that I don't play as much baseball or volleyball as I used to, I'm pretty sure the years have caught up to me. I'm 6'1” and stay in reasonable shape at around 180 pounds. These days my exercise is a round of golf – walking and carrying my bag – but still golf. While selling insurance doesn't give me much exercise, I do get a little working in my fairly large yard. So I took her insurance papers, drove by her house just to get a feel for it, and prepared some recommendations. I invited her to stop by the office to go over the proposal. We set a time to meet, she stopped by during her lunch time. That day she'd come in wearing dark brown slacks with a very pretty blouse. We went over the suggestions I had, and I explained that if she wanted to. I guess next week when it's back to work full time, things will settle down and fade into the back. Right now I still keep beating myself up. Wondering if I pushed too hard..." Peter, you didn't do anything wrong. You offered and Red took, that's all there is to it. Nothing more, nothing less. In the end she wasn't ready."By then Cindy had opened the door and ask, "Who wasn't ready?" Cindy, Peter keeps beating himself up, wondering if it was his fault that Red had a relapse. I told him that it wasn't. That he did all he could then some. This one is strictly on Red, she wasn't ready. Maybe things would have been different if Michelle had stuck it out. No one will ever know. At least not for a while. Not 'til Red comes out of this current state."I was getting a more than friendly hug from Cindy and I was reacting to it. I think she felt it and backed off a bit."Peter, Roz is right. You need to focus on your life not trying to second guess of 'what if' or 'should I have'. She said it..
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