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SANDY - Wednesday, June 21, 1961I got home around six, after a frustrating but eventually productive day working with the team on a Stretch bug that had appeared after we installed the latest Engineering Change, universally referred to as an 'EC'. Mom had dinner almost ready when the phone rang. I grabbed it, hoping that it was Steve. It was, but he certainly wasn't his usual cheerful self. I asked, "Steve, dear, what's wrong?"He said, "Oh, Sandy, I don't know how to make this easy for you. Murray called me in today and told me that my vacation was canceled, and that Friday I have to go somewhere for at least two, maybe three months. I can't tell you where or why, and I won't be able to talk to you or even send or get mail. I'm so sorry, dearest Kitten; I was so looking forward to our time in the Adirondacks, and I know you were too."I felt like someone had kicked me hard in the stomach and knocked all the wind out of me. Before I could say anything, Steve went on, saying, "Darling,. He knew he could have me in a much more convenient spot any time he wanted. And the fact that we didn’t do anything much more than just kiss that first time also didn’t set off any guilt reaction.”I said with true guilt, “Like I said, I was in puppy love at that point in the seduction and when he invited me over to his place I was pretty sure that I knew what would happen. Why I went is something that I will regret to my dying day. I was feeling exhilarated and totally wicked.”I hastily added, “As I told you, that all came crashing down the minute we finished fucking. I must be schizophrenic or something because it was like a different person took over in my head. The silly romantic girl was replaced by the woman I have become. I instantly understood how irresponsible I had been and the implications of what I had done were soul crushing.”I turned to Chelsea, who was looking at me with utter sympathy, and said, “So what’s my problem? What could have caused my totally uncharacteristic.
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