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However, when Dave's last birthday came around I thought again about the possibility of giving him a real dream-come-true night. I thought about the things he might ask me to do, and considered whether I could manage to stand it for one night. Finally I convinced myself that since he really loved me he would never injure me or put me in danger, and I could brace myself for just about anything he would do if it was just one night. I was kind of embarrassed about the idea of telling him about it since all our communication on the subject of bondage had been a long time ago and it had been nothing but subtle hints. So I wrote him a letter one day when I was at work, telling him that for his birthday I would do absolutely anything he wanted me to, sexually or otherwise. My secretary seemed to find it strange that I would prepare a letter without her help, then ask her to mail it to my own husband, and I believe I blushed when I gave her the letter. Mary will give me sly looks sometimes. He cut through the heart of the Commons and found himself treading upon the red bricks of Charles Street, the colonial shop signs swaying somberly above him. He walked slowly, not a single person on the street, not even the strangers he knew. He followed signs for the nearest hospital as home would somehow be found among the robots walking on a psychiatric ward. He had been off his medication ever since he broke from his weird imaginings, and his head burned and churned with every conceivable thought as though some higher creature cracked his skull with the sharp end of a hammer, pulling it apart as though loosening nails on weathered boards. He found meaning and no meaning at all. The strangers along the street had disappeared, and if he so happened to find one holding out for loose change he would have given his last dime, not only to be conscience-clear, but to be saved from the beasts squeezing and pressing his brain, hacking away at his gray flesh.The conspiratorial women had.
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