Indian Aunty Homemade

”A sleepy voice from the back of the room said, “Tell us more about Rosy.”A Christmas RequestThose of you who are placing Christmas lights/decorations in your yards, could you please avoid anything that has red or blue flashing lights together? Every time I come around the corner, I think it’s the police and I have a panic attack. I have to brake hard, toss my vodka, and fasten my seat belt, throw my phone on the floor, turn my radio down, and push the gun under the seat.It’s just too much stress, even for Christmas.Thank you for your cooperation and understanding.Bow down to Earl_John for this one!!!!Charlie, a very handsome young rock crab wanted to marry the lobster princess... But, King Lionel, her father & also the lobster king said “Crabs walk sideways. Lobsters walk straight. Until the crab can walk straight, he’ll never marry my daughter.”The next day, the doors of the throne room burst open and in strode Charlie the crab, he walked straight up to the king, threw a claw around. Even Iron Rod had called into the platoon office to say, 'Well done Sergeant Desmond', which was almost as good as receiving the Military Medal. If only my personal life could be as successful as my army life. I was musing on that fact when I next rang home and spoke to my mother, a few days after the sergeants mess dance."You know what them bastards 'ave been an gorn and done?" My mother shouted as soon as I started to speak. She answered her own question, which was just as well as I hadn't a clue what she was going on about. (gorn = East London pronunciation of 'gone')"They've only been an gorn and kicked the poor cow out'er 'ouse, 'aven't they?"It is a peculiarity of East London speech to convert a statement into a question, which can take some getting used to, as can the dropped aspirant.She calmed down and I got the full story. The local council had given Miriam four weeks to vacate her parents' former home, as it was still council owned. With the former tenants deceased the.
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