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I become a spirit, floating outside of my quaking human form, and hearing my moans and breath in the distance as if they were coming from somewhere else. I am released from bondage of anxiety and brokenness, until the moment passes, the shaking subsides and my spirit form is forced to return to its hollow shell. Then the longing begins again. The more times in one night I can fulfill my hunger for release, the smaller the ravenous monster of desire comes back, taking longer to grow until it devours me in another partner, but he always comes back. Is this not the definition of addiction? Enter the man child, stage left. For storytelling purposes, let’s call him Guy, though I am certain he will be able to identify himself, should he ever stumble upon this. Guy is a tattoo artist. This is only significant because this is how we met. Inflicting pain on myself in the form of body art is another coping mechanism, though it has not become a full blown addiction like intercourse, but it does. Adrian seemed happy to be out in the fresh air, and it was almost as though he had forgotten about me, until he put his hand down, and rested it on my denim covered leg, just behind the back of my left knee. My heart skipped a beat, and the skin beneath my jeans, tingled where his hand was resting, and I felt my nipples harden! Coupled with the vibration of the bike between my legs, my breathing picked up! A few moments later, Adrian slowed the motorcycle, and then pulled into a small layby overlooking a long beach. For a split second, he checked the road both ways, and then, he turned a ‘U’ in the road, and we were off again, now with the beaches and cliffs on our right. I felt so happy. Being with Adrian, felt to me, like several Christmases rolled into one, and I felt in constant excitement. I couldn’t wait to see Emma and Amanda, and then tell them all about my trip out with him. But like all good things, it came to an abrupt end, and sadly we’d only been out for about an hour,.
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