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I couldn't fathom a more girly thought thanthat one, and I was glad they were relatively rare. Why did he have towrite a stupid song about me? I had a feeling that the images in mymind would become more fixed because of it.Steven cleared his throat, "Uh- hey Abby, you missed your part." Had henoticed me staring at Ethan? Oh god, I hope not. The last thing Iwanted was for my adult male friends to think of me as some love struckteeny bopper. They had already taken to calling me Abby, instead ofAbigail.I said, "Yeah, you know I was listening to the song, and I'm not sureit works, you know with the sound of the band. It's a bit um sappy, andit sounds really pop."My plan of attack was clear. I would use Steven's hatred of anythingpop and gain an ally, hopefully eventually Andrew would join us indenouncing the song.Steven said, "But you haven't even sung a word. I don't think the versesounds poppy."I turned to look at Ethan's reaction, and I felt an instant pang ofregret. There was clear. No, I'm not gay. I'm putting a light in the closet so my wife can see better. She was always complaining how dark it was in there and she could never get a good look at her clothes. I finally got it mounted on the inside of the closet so now she might get off my ass. It's always something. Do this, do that, get me this, get me that.As I was leaving the closet I began to think about my sister and how I used to hide in the closet while her boyfriends felt her up. I don't know to this day if she knew I was there or not. I think she knew but never mentioned it.Here I am forty-three years old, married with a grown up family. I'm considered a good husband and father, dependable and employed at the same job for over twenty years. Just a regular guy, like most of your neighbors. I mow the lawn or shovel the snow, I even help out the little lady with the housekeeping. On the outside I'm just like everybody else. But inside I guess I might be considered a pervert of some kind. You see I fucked.
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