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Get rid of alcohol, cigarettes, coffee, tea, and any other drugs. take walks every day, but make sure you don’t exercise too hard.”The man says, “Will that give me longer to live?”The doc replies, “No, but it’ll certainly seem longer.”“My missus dumped me ‘cos she says I’m too obsessed with football,” said the first fella.“How long have you been with her?” asked the second fella.“Six seasons.”A young Scotsman leaves home and moves to New York. After six months his mom calls him and she asks how he finds the Americans. “Horrible,” he says. “They’re always yelling and screaming. I hate how they constantly pound on the walls and stomp the floors.”“How do you get by?” she asks.“I just relax in bed, playing me bagpipes,” says the Scot.A man is on trial for cannibalism. He proclaims to the judge, “Well, your honor, if you truly are what you eat, then I am an innocent man.”I rang work and said, “I can’t come in today, I have a wee cough.”The boss replied, “You have a wee cough?”I said,. Not hearing much I knocked, waited a second, and came in.Raif was standing in the middle of the bathroom. He was wearing a t-shirt, and he had headphones in his ears, but his bottom was undressed. His back was to the door, and he did not see, or apparently hear, me come in. I almost closed the door but then thought again about it. There was no command to go away, and in the past there was some acceptance of me in their bathroom spaces which allowed me to overcome by built-in privacy considerations. I paused, and called out."Raif," I said. "Where do you keep the vanilla?" He didn't hear me. So I walked over to him and tapped him on the shoulder. To say that I surprised him could hardly be an exaggeration. He even jumped a bit while turning around. He recognized me, and suddenly got red in the face, and started to cover up his penis. It was surprisingly long at the moment, not like when I once saw him in the shower, and he had one hand wrapped all around the penis. With his other hand,.
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