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. I'm afraid I may have made the biggest mistake of all. It's not something I can shrug off like the rest of them. I've gotten myself into a very bad place and for the first time in my life I can honestly say I don't know what to do. I want to scream at the top of my lungs "HELP ME!!!" but I know I can't tell anyone the truth. I'm so ashamed of what I've done to myself, and most importantly my family. It physically makes me sick to my stomach! At this point I have no one else to turn to... This is my last resort, my pathetic whimper for help. If my story can prevent even one person from following in my footsteps I'll have done something good. The following events are unfortunately very real. I wish more than anything this was just some sick fantasy. I'm going to be 100% truthful, no matter how sick you may think it is... This is my story.I grew up in a small town just outside of Boston, the youngest of three daughters. I had what most would call a picture perfect family. My mother was. They loved their parents and were loved in return, and they knew it.The marriage between their mother and "new" father had survived, but it had been tough. There had been disagreements, a few arguments, and many late night discussions, but their relationship was intact. Most people would say it had healed.Brad wasn't so sure. That his wife had "disconnected," as she put it, under the stress of the bubbling excitement and all the activity at the swinger's hotel last year still depressed him at times. Even though she swore she would never again yield to a temptation to keep him in the dark about anything, Brad had doubts.Ashley seemed sincere though. He had no reason to doubt her... not really. He decided she probably meant what she said. It didn't cheer him much on those occasions when he let himself brood on the shame and humiliation she'd heaped on him that afternoon in Dallas. There were too many things left unexplained... things that had crushed him at the time... but things.
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