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I just didn’t know. I’d found the unconditional love I was looking for. I’d found an ability to be able to return it. My mind blanked out every other aspect, every other possible problem, every other realistic event. I lived totally in the moment. And then it ended. Like the click of a locked door on a jail cell. To say I was devastated sounds so trite. I couldn’t stomach food for three weeks. I couldn’t stand to be in the kitchen cooking dinner for my family. My stomach kept heaving. I picked at pathetic morsels I’d put on my plate so my family wouldn’t notice. I lost weight rapidly, my cheeks became gaunt and my hair and skin looked lifeless. I went for my nightly walks, taking the dog with me. I sat on the bank’s edge by the creek and bawled my eyes out. My family needed me, but I couldn’t give them anything of myself. I had nothing to give. Why me? Why the hell me? Why let me fall in love so deeply, only to take it away from me? I couldn’t come to terms with the loss at all. At. That's about all I can remember. Do you know him?" Walter," I could hear Susan say. "Dammit, he knows I'm alive still."It jarred me, but I focused on the nurse. "No, I don't know him," I said. "Maybe some reporter, or just a thrill-seeker. Look, can you take me back to Susan now?" The doctor's with her just now, you'll have to wait," she said. "She'll be out to talk to you as soon as she's free, the doctor I mean. Just take a seat, Mr. Costain. It shouldn't be too long." Can you tell me how bad Susan's hurt?" I persisted."There's really nothing I can say, sir. You'll have to wait and talk to the doctor."It was the usual medical runaround. Hospitals get obsessive about patient privacy; only doctors are allowed to say squat about the patient and even they're pretty cautious about how much they'll say and to whom they'll say it. Nurses and other functionaries are told to keep their mouths shut to everybody, no exceptions. Like it or not, there was nothing I could do but wait.And wait..
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