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"I couldn't find Lily when I went upstairs to her bedroom. On her bed was her schoolbag. Her window was opened, letting in orange afternoon sunlight. Lily's room seemed much cleaner than usual. Her clothes were not all over the place like they were when I last came here.I eventually found Lily in Ella's bedroom. Still in her school uniform, she was kneeling down on the floor near a bucket of grey paint. Under the bucket of paint were newspapers laid down in case the paint spilled over. Lily's right hand held a paintbrush. The metal frame of Ella's bed used to be completely black. Now half of it was painted grey."What's this for?" I asked."I'm painting," she said. "It's for Ella." Does Ella want her bed frame grey? Did you ask her?" No, if I ask her, she might say no." What if she doesn't like it?"Lily shrugged her shoulders. "My mum said I can do it. I make everything grey. Don't tell anyone." Why don't you want me to tell anyone?" I don't want them to stop me." I don't think Ella. I did get some work, mostly fast food restaurants, bar tendering and such, but nothing that stuck.”“Still, you had income, no reason to end up on the streets.”“I know, but back then I did drink and that’s how I ended up like this. I used to clean myself up but over the years it has become harder and harder.”They sat in silence for a while then Cindy asked. “Out of curiosity, what’s it like to fuck in front of a camera crew? Isn’t it hard with everyone staring at you?”“It was, in the beginning I was very nervous but you get used to it. The ‘hardest’ thing was to keep my dick hard. Back then we had no Viagra.”“Oh shit, how did you do it?”“We had fluffers. Between shots some wannabe actress had the job to keep the guys hard but not making them cum. It was difficult work, and some literately sucked at it.” Tom laughed.“I guess the industry has changed a lot.”“It sure has. Anyway, once I got used to being watched I could fuck for a long time staying hard. Not even after coming did I go.
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